


Nirvana

by almaia



Category: Political RPF, Political RPF - UK 20th-21st c.
Genre: (yes that's actually a thing), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fluff and Smut, Lolitics - Freeform, Multi, Orgasmic Meditation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-27
Updated: 2016-11-27
Packaged: 2018-09-02 15:05:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8672050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/almaia/pseuds/almaia
Summary: Theresa May unwinds with the help of her husband and her opposition leader.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I would like to thank MisleadGoddess for giving me the idea to write this fanfiction. I hope I've done you proud with this!
> 
> Disclaimer: The content of this work is purely fictional even if the characters are real life figures and some real life events are referenced to. No disrespect and political bias is intended by this work.

Planning for the Brexit negotiations were getting intense as March 2017 came closer and the Prime Minister was feeling pretty stressed. Of course, she didn’t show it when she’s out in public but once she had made it back to her 10 Downing Street apartment – this was where you’d see how stressed she has become.

“That lizard-faced man from UKIP and his friend who looks like a bloody Cheeto won’t stop bothering me!” she muttered under her breath, “Just because UK wants to leave the EU doesn’t mean we’re running straight into America’s arms. Not at this time, especially!”

In the midst of the negotiation planning, she had received five calls in a row from people who are literally begging her to “dump the EU for the US”.  From Farage and Trump and the last three, from people calling on their behalf when the two realized that she wasn’t going to pick up their calls again anytime soon.

Besides that, she was having a problem with Angela Merkel – who called her earlier on that day, literally begging her as well to divulge her Brexit plans already. Theresa knew better than to divulge those plans because those plans weren’t even finalized yet. If she divulged it, misinformation is bound to happen and the UK will be in a worse-off position in this whole Brexit mess.

If there’s one skill she has developed from being Home Secretary and from being one of the underdogs of the Next Generation, it was keeping her plans under wraps until they are mature enough to be divulged. That was how she survived the Home Office – the office known to kill many political careers.

“Dear, you look so stressed!” Philip remarked in passing as he caught his wife entering the living room. He was with Jeremy Corbyn who was busy reading that day’s issue of _The Guardian_.

“Let me guess, people are bothering you to divulge your Brexit plans again.” Jeremy knew it all too well because even he himself did the same thing during Prime Minister’s Questions. Except, unlike everyone else who bothered her about it , he didn’t do it _every single time_.

“Does it look like I’m not bothered?” Theresa said in an irritated tone. She was not in the mood to be arsed right now, “But if you two want to be helpful, we’re doing an Orgasmic Meditation.”

“An Orgasmic Meditat- _what_?” A dumbfounded Jeremy Corbyn asked. He was the one to have many sexual conquests but he had no idea what the heck was the Prime Minister rambling on. Was it some sexy version of Yoga that Justin Trudeau does?

“Orgasmic Meditation.” Philip said confidently, “It’s like fingering but it’s not! It might sound sexual but it’s not exactly a form of sexual intercourse. You might be thinking of Justin Trudeau doing yoga in a seductive manner right now but that’s not exactly how it works.”

“Enlighten me, then.” A curious Jeremy Corbyn said as he tried to get the image of Justin Trudeau doing yoga seductively out of his mind.

* * *

 

This was how it looked like. A yoga mat was rolled out on the floor, there were pillows all around this yoga mat. This was what practitioners of Orgasmic Meditation would call a “nest”. Theresa laid down on this “nest” with Jeremy seated on her left and Philip on her right. The Labour leader had his left leg over her stomach and her husband had his right leg over her stomach. Her legs were wide open as well.

The two men started massaging the Prime Minister’s legs with “grounding pressure”, to prepare her of what’s to come. Their eyes were aimed at her clitoris because according to experts, that’s how you start off an Orgasmic Meditation.

“It’s pinkish-brown.” Jeremy said as he stared into the Prime Minister’s clitoris. This was something he’s never done before.

“Yeah, you’re doing well, describing what you see and all.” Philip said as he continued to have a staring contest with his wife’s cunt.

“And what am I supposed to do next?” Jeremy seemed to have never shaken the hesitance from himself yet.

Philip placed a generous amount of lubricant on his wife’s cunt then he faced Jeremy, “Now, you put your left thumb on the edge of her introitus – that’s the opening of her cunt, by the way!”

“You mean her England right?” Jeremy said, laughing.

“Jeremy, your geography nerd is showing!” Theresa remarked. She knew that Jeremy was a nerd at geography and she had the newspapers to thank for knowing the fact that he once taught geography classes in Jamaica, only because he had no other choice.

“Says the Prime Minister who completed a degree in Geography from Oxford with honors!” Jeremy fired back, laughing. It was a well-known fact, the Prime Minister herself was a Geography major turned financial consultant for the Bank of England (before she decided she was better off a politician, and she’s glad she’s made the decision to enter politics).

Jeremy followed Philip’s instructions, wondering if what he’s doing was totally worth it. Philip then placed the tip of his left index finger on her clit at the 8 o’clock spot (also known as the upper left quadrant).

“And this, Jeremy,” Philip said as he started stroking her clit, “Is her Hebrides.”

“Now you two are just turning my cunt into the map of the United Kingdom!” Theresa said, laughing once more. Those Orgasmic Meditation lessons that she and Philip took never prepared her for this.

But hey, this was what Orgasmic Meditation was supposed to be – relaxing. While her boys are trying to make this whole thing look funny, she surprisingly found it relaxing.

“Maybe you could put some more pressure on my Hebrides.” Theresa said in a commanding voice. Immediately, Philip complied and moved his left index finger a little more to the left, “Thank You” she said.

This went on for thirteen more minutes and in those thirteen minutes, you could hear Theresa moan audibly as her husband and her opposition leader help her reach _Nirvana_ on this Orgasmic Meditation.

* * *

 

The alarm on Philip’s phone suddenly rang, signaling that the thirteen minutes was up. At cue, Philip and Jeremy started winding up, with Jeremy folding the wet wipes and using it to wipe the Prime Minister’s cunt in one swipe.

Philip then used both of his palms to apply pressure to Theresa’s cunt. This was a part of the winding up process that lasts for two minutes.

When the winding up finally finished, the three sat upright and recollected their experience from this rather strange but enlightening bonding experience they had.

“You two managed to turn my cunt into the map of the United Kingdom.” Theresa spoke, “And frankly, I find that hilarious. You two are actually _absolute_ geniuses!” she added with a smirk.

“So did we do well in relieving your stress, then?” Philip asked, genuinely curious about whether he and Jeremy did a great job at putting her at ease after being subjected to a long day of intense work.

“More than well.” She said, pulling the two into a hug, “This is why I enjoy being with the both of you. You allow me to loosen up myself without getting compromised.”

“I could say the same thing as well.” Jeremy added, “It’s like we’ve trusted each other well enough that we allow ourselves to have these light moments that we never thought we’ve had.”

While Theresa and Philip have tried this before, Jeremy hasn’t and this was what made yet another brand new experience for the Mays. Moreover, this was one brand new experience that was worthy for the keeps.


End file.
